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The Connection Question

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAMaybe you’ve seen the auto-insurance commercial about  a younger fellow with long hair and a stocking cap who has just rear-ended an older, business-suited man’s car.   In exchanging insurance information, the two discover that they share not only the same company, but the same agent.  “It’s like we’re connected,” observes the younger man with zen-like pleasure.  “No, we’re not,” protests the other, obviously not liking that idea at all.  But as the younger man’s facial expression points out, there’s no denying it. 

In somewhat the same way, the “accident” of being born the first female in our families is a connector that’s not always or immediately apparent.

It’s been surprising to me to realize the number of oldest daughters in my life.

  • My first housemates after college were all oldest daughters.  So were the four of us who subsequently shared an apartment.

That common characteristic was not realized, I’m fairly sure, at the time.  But it’s continued to be a fact in the people with whom I find myself associating.

  • Four out of the five women in my writer’s group are first-born females.
  • Six out of the eight women in the movie group my husband I belong to are oldest daughters.
  • The majority of my close friends, business associates and colleagues in education fall in the same category.

In none of these situations has our family position been identified or discussed beforehand.  But our similar experiences, expectations, resulting feelings and personality traits have come to light in the course of conversations.

It’s those common connections that led me several years ago to begin researching this topic.  As one person I interviewed told me, “It’s like at some level we simply recognize each other.”

How do you see it?

Coincidences?

Or opportunities?

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  1. bbartocci
    February 23, 2013 at 8:18 pm

    well done pat!

    • Pat Schudy
      February 23, 2013 at 9:48 pm

      Thanks, Barb — but how do you see the connections? coincidences or something else?

  2. February 24, 2013 at 5:05 pm

    What an amazing observation! I am realizing that my closest friends are also oldest daughters. Thanks for the awareness!

  3. purcell tom
    February 24, 2013 at 5:27 pm

    My sense is that oldest may just be drawn to each other. I think in most people are drawn by some force that we know nothing about

  4. Lanti Riederer
    March 6, 2013 at 2:34 pm

    Probably coincidence, plus some like mindedness, tendency to be confident, usually a degree of security. Always an opportunity be be with others, interact, share thinking and views. I like the post.

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